So, nppyinzerand I finally watched Juno. My friend Annemarie called me recently asking if I had seen it, because she just had, and she wanted to know what I thought. Well, I hadn't seen it, but as luck would have it, we went to Hollywood video the next evening, and nppyinzerbrought up that HE wanted to watch it. He likes Michael Cera. Who knew?
The one criticism that I had heard of the movie, always from adoptive parents, was that the decision to place her baby for adoption was "too easy" for Juno. I disagree.
First, there are no "typical" birthparents, just as their aren't any "typical" adoptive parents. I don't think Vanessa (Jennifer Garner) is at all like me, and I would be offended if everyone who saw Juno assumed that all adoptive moms-to-be were as, well, emotionally in check, almost as though she were on too many behavioral meds. I hope that they won't come away from the movie believing that all birthmothers, or even just all teenage birthmothers, are like Juno. I think that Juno's decision was true to her character, and that's the best one can hope for in a movie. When characters start acting like people they're not, that's when the movie takes a Lifetime TV turn for the tissues.
Juno isn't an adoption movie. It's not even a movie about adoption. It's a movie about a pregnant teenager. How she deals with that pregnancy and is able to deal with the issues "far higher than [her] maturity level" is what makes the movie a great movie.
For Juno, the misfit, she takes things as they come. She just decides. Whatever it is, she makes a decision and goes with it. The decision to have sex with her best friend, for example, is the basis for the entire drama. She immediately decides that she's going to have an abortion, because pregnancy, if left unchecked, could "result in an infant." Juno meets a classmate on the way into the clinic - the girl is the sole protester in the parking lot. She tells Juno that the baby has fingernails, which makes Juno pause, then go into the clinic. The decision feels wrong, she leaves, and then she chooses adoption.
Juno knows from the get-go that she is "ill-equipped" to be a mother. There are only two ways to avoid that fate. The first, abortion, apparently isn't for her. So, then the best way to make a "blessing out of this garbage heap of a situation" is to "give" her baby to parents who want it. Juno accepts that this is not her time to be a mom, and she seems comfortable with that. Although we do see that it hurts her to go through the ordeal, she remains confident that she is making the right choice.
Her situation reminds me of an exchange that I had online. An adoptive mom asked, essentially, how early was too early to match with an expectant mom? A lot of the adoptive moms, if I remember correctly, said never to match before the final trimester, although a couple of rebels said that there's no magic time. One birthmom posted, and said that she knew from the moment she found out she was pregnant that she was going to place this child. The first agency she talked with wouldn't let her look at adoptive parent profiles until she was in her 7th month. The birthmom was very angry about that, and found a new agency that let her match at her own pace. She wanted to really know the adoptive parents, and wanted them to come to doctor's appointments and be a part of the pregnancy process. She did place her child with them. She resented other people placing their timelines and expectations on her.
That is what I think of when I think of Juno. The girl knows that this is not her turn, and she is making a parent out of someone who really wants to be one.
In Adoptive Families magazine (I think), one person mentioned the use of incorrect terminology in the movie. Juno says she's going to "give up" her baby. The more correct term is "place". But people outside of the adoption community don't know that. Juno is 16. To her, she's giving up her baby.
The fact that she wants a closed adoption, and that Vanessa agrees with that, is interesting to me. I had hoped that I would see them both come to a realization that knowing one another, even if only through annual updates, would be better for all involved, especially the child. But that was more of a politically correct idea than one that would fit Juno's character. Try to get this over with, get it behind her, and move on with life. That was Juno's goal.
Going forward, might Juno have lasting psychological problems? Maybe. But this isn't about adoption as a whole, and its impact on the lives of people involved with it. Almost every frame has Juno in it, although there are a few pertinent conversations among the other characters. The birthfather (Michael Cera) has nothing to do with the actual adoption, and we have no idea how he feels about the pregnancy. There's a reason the movie is titled Juno.
So, I don't think that the "too easy" criticism is valid, and I do think that this movie is awesome.
There is one critic who wrote that Jennifer Garner's performance was so good and wholesome "she deserved to have that baby." I refrained from passing judgment on this until I actually saw the movie, although it is something that bothers me in real life situations. And yeah, it still bothers me. Vanessa no more deserved that baby than anyone else. Did she deserve to be a mom? Yes, I think she did. I was glad to see why Juno thought she'd be a good mother, as their first interactions together were stunted, and I was thinking, "Wow. Is this really what people think of when they think of adoptive parents?" Probably. But I guess we all have our stereotypes to overcome.
Finally, can I just say that I want Allison Janney and J.K. Simmons to be my parents? Because they were amazing! I honestly believed that they were the parents of this unusual girl. A lot of times in movies, the parents are just bodies that one has to include because teenagers must have parents. Juno's parents were very well developed. Allison Janney especially is underrated. I have decided that I love her.

I have a huge list of events that prove how wonderful my son is. I'm just waiting for a long enough moment to post them to his blog.
But tonight, I was rocking Jack to sleep and singing "Rainbow Connection" and a song that I think is called "Mary's Lullaby" but can't find anywhere. And I realized that I don't feel much different than I did when I was just out of college. I have a hard time remembering that I'm 32. I don't feel 32, nor do I always feel like a mature mommy, whatever that means.
Anyway... just something I've been thinking about.

OK, so, here's the condensed version of the exposition: In February, I changed doctors. He recommended a new drug - the only FDA-approved drug for neuropathy (nerve pain). Blue Cross denied it and denied it and finally, after many hours on the phone, and faxing over 39 pages of medical records, they approved it.
Just after _chandra sent me her samples.
So, I'm ramping up on this stuff - Lyrica - by taking 1 75mg pill every night. I'm supposed to take 3 75mg pills per day.
Whoa...
Every time I've taken it, I slowly get more and more tired until I sleep and sleep and sleep and only wake up because either my stomach says "I'm hungry" or I finally have the presence of mind to look at the clock and freak out when I realize I'm going to be really late for work! That was Monday, actually, and Max had to drive me because I could not drive. I was so dizzy, for about half of the day. A Starbucks mocha helped a bit.
Monday night, I didn't take the Lyrica because Max couldn't drive me to work and I had to be there.
Last night, I took the Lyrica and again, very tired, no desire to do anything, woke up at 10:30am (I work at home on Wednesdays), tried to start work, couldn't focus, everything was spinny, took a nap where I had awful dreams about Jack and laundry and the movie Bring It On.
I talked to Holly at the dr's office and she will have the doctor call me tomorrow (Thursday).
I hate hate hate hate hate being dependent on drugs.
Hate.
*sigh*

So yesterday, I posted about Mama Speaks, and an article that began: "I think those of us who have been lucky enough to bear our own children often don't give much thought to the other ways Mama's are made."

I wrote this letter. (And yes, I did include the part about how pregnancy wasn't always a walk in the park, and maybe it was a  bit argumentative.)


She wrote this letter back.
Hi Robin,
Thank you so much for you honest and open feedback on our Adoption Mama post. I will say we have received several other emails regarding this post, as well a lovely note from the owner of Adoption Mama, ALL of which were full of thanks, praise and encouragement. I will also be upfront as say, I do not see anything "offensive" about our post.

I do think "biological" would be a great replacement for "children of our own" as adoptive children obviously become children of our own as well. I would be happy to edit this.

I do not, however, see how us saying "Those who have been lucky enough", in ANY way implies that someone choosing to go about creating a family another way is UN-lucky. If anything I personally, simply feel blessed, and incredibly lucky to have carried my son in my belly for the 28 weeks he was there. You have stated a pretty troubling view of pregnancy and birth -

"Lucky to have morning sickness, prenatal testing, doctors and nurses sticking digits and implements into uncomfortable places? Lucky to be on bed rest for months? Lucky to go through an emergency C-section after 12 hours of labor? No, thank you. I'll take my home study process over the pregnancy process any day."

While I can only speak for myself and those close enough to share there lives/experiences with me, I can tell you that this is not pregnancy/birth as we know it. And this is definitely not the "norm". Unfortunately, since there is such a wide range of experience in life, we trust that our readers know that while we do research things through, most of our writing comes from our own experience. Such is blogging.

I also ask you to keep in mind that this was not a post meant to be "about" adoption as a whole, if it were we would have loved to go into all the details you provided. This post was essentially about a tee shirt.

Thank you again for bringing your thoughts to our attention.

Warmly,
Ashlee Allen
Mama in Charge
www.MamaSpeaks.com
reviews@mamaspeaks.com

GRRRRR

In the March issue, Adoptive Families published the question "We recently adopted a 15-month-old child, and were told we need to 'catch up' with his immunizations. How quickly should we proceed?".
The answer was, "Proceed at the pace that is right for you. Vaccinations can be spread out, but I would advise against spreading them too far apart. ... you don't want your child to fall behind on the immunization schedule. Also, keep in mind that any shot is traumatizing to a child. Giving vaccines at the rate of one per week increases the risk that the child will anticipate the weekly visit, crying as you pull into the parking lot of the doctor's office. For a child, there is little difference, psychologically, between one shot and many. Thus, spreading the immunizations over too long a period may simply lead your child to develop a serious 'doctor phobia.'"

Because I couldn't simply write BULL SHIT,  I wrote a thoughtful letter to the editor. I did forget to point out that, while there may not be much difference, psychologically, between one shot and many, there is a HUGE difference physiologically. And this leads me to a question to the parents I know:

Why do you vaccinate?

Everyone asks me why we don't. After doing the research, I honestly cannot understand why parents would vaccinate according to the USA's CDC schedule (or why they might add vaccines that aren't on that schedule).  I'm not trying to pick a fight. I am simply curious.

Here's the letter:
I must disagree with Deborah Borchers comments on immunizations. She states that  it would be traumatic for children to receive vaccinations over a period of time, leading to "doctor phobia." What is traumatic is for a toddler's body to be inundated with bacteria, viruses, antibiotics, aluminum, formaldehyde, and several other preservatives.
I have done quite a bit of research on vaccines over the past two years. Like many families, we have several concerns about vaccinations, and have chosen not to vaccinate. Contrary to popular myth, we are not crazy hippies, negligent parents, or conspiracy theorists. So many disorders have skyrocketed as more and more vaccines have been added to the schedule, including asthma, allergies, diabetes, ADD/ADHD, and, yes, autism. At this point, before age 2, a child receives over 20 vaccines for at least 13 diseases. Many of these diseases are not generally life-threatening, while the vaccines contain aluminum, formaldehyde, material from human diploid cells (aborted fetal tissue), tissue from other animals, and many preservatives that are classified as "toxic material" by government agencies. I know, I must be making this up, right? Sadly, I am not. Parents should read the vaccine package inserts for the vaccines that their children are given. However, the doctor is not required to offer these documents, and many parents, believing that the doctor must know what is best, simply get the shots.
Doctors recommend that infants not be given nuts, cow's milk, eggs, and other foods before age one because of possible reactions. Yet, it is somehow acceptable to inject infants as young as 2 months old with 5 vaccines containing multiple chemicals. Mothering Magazine recently published an article titled, "Is Aluminum the New Thimerosal?" in which the author, Dr. Robert Sears, points out that at 2 months, infants receive anywhere from 295 to 1225 mcg of aluminum in their vaccines. The recommended maximum for a 12 pound baby is 25 mcg.
Also, note that vaccines, unlike medications, are not titrated to an infant's weight. A 2 month old who weights 8 pounds is given the same amount as a 2 month old who weighs 16 pounds. Parents of children who have been in orphanages, have been malnourished, were born prematurely, or are not completely healthy should be especially wary of vaccinating according to the CDC's recommended schedule.
Many families who are concerned about the number of vaccines choose to give their children one vaccine per month, and to avoid combination vaccines whenever possible. Might a child develop a fear of the doctor? Perhaps. But if that child has a vaccine reaction, the parents will know exactly what caused it, and that child's body will not be fighting off an incredible assault.
I encourage parents to learn more about vaccines and the diseases that they claim to prevent. I hope that Adoptive Families will present balanced information on this topic.

I have Vista on my test system at work, and I LOATHE it. It is just awful! So, that cements my decision to get a Mac. And nppyinzersays that when we get our tax refund back (gotta love the adoption tax credit) that I can get the computer that I want.
Now, why do I need a new computer?, you might ask. Well, the one that I currently use is a desktop that I bought back in 2000. I saved up and bought the best computer that I could, and it has held up remarkably well. Then, this past year, I maxed out the hard drive space. I have 50GB, and with all the pictures, video, and now scrapbooking that I do, I had to move all of my actual files onto an external USB drive. Also, between XP and Norton, my computer is just very slow. Finally, some programs won't even really run on it. Oh, and it's a desktop. So I have to be sitting here in my scrapbooking/guest room to do anything. Which means I never get anything done. With a laptop, I can play with Jack and occasionally look at email, or watch TV while scrapbooking, etc.
I'm having a hard time deciding which MacBook I want. Well, I want the 17-inch MacBook Pro. My thoughts are - if you're gonna buy a computer, buy the best one that you can, so it will last as long as possible. But do I really need that? It seems as though I'm paying $400 extra just for the screen.
Then there's the second tier, 15-inch MacBook Pro. But it's essentially the same as the first one; it just has 250GB of hard drive space and a 2.5ghz chip as opposed to 200GB/2.4ghz, , which makes it cost $400 more than the base-level MacBook Pro. The base level MacBook Pro is $1999.00. Plus 8.25% sales tax for California. Woof! I wish I could buy it in NH.
Now, the MacBook Air is really cool, but it only comes with an 80GB drive, and what I need the most is hard drive space. It also doesn't have a CD/DVD drive, and that's an issue for me, as I do a lot of CD burning. So, no MacBook Air for Robyn.
I'm thinking the MacBook Pros over the MacBooks because the Pros are made of aluminum. Not only does that make them sturdier, it actually also makes them "greener." Aluminum production is less energy-intensive than plastic production, aluminum doesn't give off as many gases as plastic, and aluminum can be recycled (though how one might recycle a computer I'm not sure).
I'll be keeping my desktop as a work-from-home machine, as a lot of my work is still Windows-based. The Mac will be for my own writing, scrapbooking, photos, and other projects. I'm going to have to get a different monitor for my desktop, because I've got this 21-inch ViewSonic, which I love, but which is just way too big and takes up too much space. I'm thinking I'll look out for an older flat screen on eBay or something.
Anyway, would anyone care to chime in? Should I go for the high-end, or somewhere in the middle? Should I just get the MacBook, without the Pro? The MacBooks come with far less hard drive space by default, in addition to being made of plastic.
I know jayspec gave me some advice long ago, but I can no longer find it.

So, there's a lot going on and a lot that I want to write about. One of those things is, now that Jack is old enough to start "getting" God and Jesus, I'm looking for a church. I'm going through the web sites of some local churches. Every site begins their belief statement with " the Bible is without error" , "perfect revelation", blah blah blah.
I'm a big fan of the Bible in general, but it's not to be taken literally. I do believe it was inspired by God, but it was inspired by God for a certain audience. Does anyone believe that God condones slavery? And yet, Paul does. There's so much about women that is obviously specific to the time period. And you can't have it both ways. You can't say that Leviticus is wrong because it's Old Testament, while Peter is right because it's New. No no no no no.

I think most people know that I am very into the "green" movement. We use gDiapers (and I actually am the terribly remiss owner of the LJ gdiapers community). We're starting to make our cleaners, and to stay away from the nasty store bought ones. We use real bags when we go to the store, instead of getting plastic ones. Well, at least I do. Sometimes nppyinzer thinks I'm absolutely nuts. (But that's another post.)
Some people on the Yahoo! gDiapers community posted about a contest. I went and found a fabulous blog! And yes, they give things away too! The content is very readable, accessible, interesting, and useful, so even if you don't win any thing you win knowledge.
The contest is here, on Buy Baby Buy.
And if you have a baby in your life, I highly recommend trying those g's!

Everybody has met at least one famous person in their lives. Because I went to Carnegie Mellon University, I got to meet a few famous people before they were famous and a few famous people afterwards. From the latter category, I've met and spoken with Stephen Schwartz (Godspell, Pippin, Wicked), Jack Klugman, and Bill Gates. From the former, I've met Zach Quinto.
Who?, you ask.
Sylar, from Heroes.
I was watching Heroes one night when I asked Max, "What's that guy's name?" And he said, "Sylar." And I said, "No, his real name." So he uses the wireless network and comes up with "Zachary" and  I finished, "Quinto. Yeah, he was in my CSW class."
From at least 1993 to 1997, every CMU freshman had to pass Computing Skills Workshop. Didn't matter if your major was Drama, you still had to take it and pass it. The class was actually taught by students. I became a CSW instructor in my sophomore year. (And I loved it, and became a tech writer because of it. But that's another story.) Because I had a foot in the Drama Dept., being a BHA candidate (also another story, very boring), I had the same schedule as a lot of the Dramats. So, I ended up teaching the three sections of CSW that had all of the Dramats in them. One year, that included Zach Quinto.
Zach was a conscientious guy, but a computer whiz he was not. He squeaked by and passed.
Oddly, we were also in some classes together as students, because I was BHA. I liked Zach. Really, I liked a lot of the Dramats from his year. Dramats tended to be oh-so-pretentious, but the kids in his year were more down to earth.
Note, I'm using the word "kids". Zach graduated 2 years after I did, which means he's about 30 now. Ack, I'm old!
What is the point Robyn?
Well, my father- and mother-in-law were on a flight to Vegas the other day. FIL saw Zach on the plane. FIL approached Zach and asked, "Did you go to CMU?" Apparently, Zach did a double-take because that's not what he's used to being asked, and then said, "Yes." FIL said, "OK" or whatever and went back to his seat.
A little later, Zach went up to FIL, and asked, "Do you work at CMU?" FIL said, "Yes, but what's even stranger is that my daughter-in-law was your computing instructor."

My real-life friend Melissa just sent me one of those email questionnaires. Because sm00bs is doing a friending frenzy, I thought I might post it here, with my answers, in case anyone is thinking they might like me.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?	Yes. My dad (Robert)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?	Last week, after a bad day at work
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?	Most of the time
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?	Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?	I have 1 child, Jack
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?	Yes
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?	No. Never. What's sarcasm?
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?	Yes
9.   WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?	No!!!
10.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?	The one I eat the most is Total Raisin Bran, but I really love AppleJacks and FruitLoops
11.  DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?	Only if they have laces
12.  DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?	Not really.
13.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?	Peppermint
14.  WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?	IRL: Their hair On-screen: How they type
15.  RED OR PINK?	Red
16. What do you like the least about yourself	ability to make the best of things versus going out & trying something new  (I stole this from Melissa)
17.  WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?	My grandpa. He died on Dec. 30, 2005, just 3 weeks before Jack was born
18.  DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?	N/A
19.  WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?	Jeans (blue) and no shoes
20.  WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?	a maraschino cherry
21.  WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?	Myself typing (but "Tattoo" is in my head)
22.  IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?	A purplish-shade
23.  FAVORITE SMELLS?	Vanilla! California Christmas.
24.  WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?	A recording, but I guess that doesn't count, so, the vet
25.  DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?	Yes! Very, very much. In fact, I miss her too.
26.  FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?	Gymnastic, womens'
27.  HAIR COLOR?	Auburn
28.  EYE COLOR?	Hazel, green & brown
29.  DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?	No
30.  FAVORITE FOOD?	Dessert
31.  SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?	Happy Endings!
32.  LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?	I watched part of the Incredibles on Disney yesterday. (Hey Melissa, How was Juno?)
33.  WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?	Green
34.  SUMMER OR WINTER?	Summer!
35.  HUGS OR KISSES?	Both
36.   FAVORITE DESSERT?	Cake, moist, with good frosting, and ice cream
37.  MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?	n/a
38.  LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND	n/a
39.  WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?	The Everything Potty Training Book Real Parents, Real Children Opting Out
40.   WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSEPAD	SinFest, Percy and Pooch
41.  WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST  NIGHT?	I don't get to watch TV anymore
42.  FAVORITE SOUND?	snow, thunderstorms
43.  ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?	YUCK
44.  WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?	Bahamas
45.  DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?	Singing, acting, writing, ear wiggling
46.  WHERE WERE YOU BORN?	Walnut Creek, CA
47.  WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?	n/a

Waiting for software that doesn't flipping work, so I read Live Journal, and found nppyinzer took this test. Two Eeyores in one house! Thanks for noticing us.

Link: The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test written by wolfcaroling

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in with? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Serenity (Firefly) You like to live your own way and don't enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you. Serenity (Firefly) 88% Moya (Farscape) 81% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 81% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 75% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 69% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 69% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 63% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 56% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 50% Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) 50% SG-1 (Stargate) 44% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 38% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 25%

Went well. More info to come this weekend, when I might have time to type. I must get used to having my only "me" time from 9:30-10:30 at night. I'm going to need to start getting to bed by 11. *sigh*

Instead of sorting the laundry, I've been cleaning out my adoption groups email folders. I found a link to the "Belief Calculator". According to it, the religions that most fit my belief system are:

1. Liberal Quakers (100%)
2. Reform Judaism (94%)
3. Mainline-Liberal Christian Protestants (90%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (88%)
5. Ba'hai

I took this type of a test in 1999 or 2000, and the top results were about the same. At least, I know Quaker came first.

I was baptised Roman Catholic, and it ranks at #20 with 53%, between Eastern Orthodox and Latter Day Saints (aka Mormons).

I don't necessarily agree with this evaluation. The options are limited. You can only choose one belief for each question. It's questions 14 & 15, about homosexuality and the roles of women, respectively, that make it so difficult for me to find a religion that shares my beliefs. A religion must accept and embrace all people equally, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. The other major barrier to religion-finding? Why do services have to be at the crack of dawn on Sunday mornings? The latest service offered by a non-Catholic church is usually 10am. This irks me.

If you care to know more about my positions on the questions, I've listed them here:

• Question One is about the "Number and Nature of a Deity". I essentially believe in one God who can pretty much be or do whatever "He" wants. I don't believe that God has gender, though my personal view of the embodiment of God is that of a grandfather. I believe that God is also present in everyone, and perhaps even in everything natural (biological - I don't think God is in Jack's baby wipes, for example).
• Question Two is about the "Human Incarnation of God". I believe that there was one incarnation of God - Jesus, but also that God is present, spiritually, in all of us.
• Question Three is about Creation and I only have one belief about that. In their words, it's "God is creating and controlling the phenomena uncovered by scientists. Or, there are other spiritual explanations, but not in conflict with scientific discovery."
• Question Four is about What Happens to Humans After Death. I believe that a) there is an afterlife, b) we don't really know what the afterlife is about, c) regardless of what you think happens after death, you need to be good on earth, d) the soul does survive into the afterlife, e) we're not all going to be resurrected bodily - it's a spiritual or soul-based resurrection that Jesus/God promises.
• Question Five is "Why Is There Terrible Wrongdoing in the World?". I agree with two of their options: "Wrongdoing results from God-given freewill plus a weak side, or a drive to satisfy personal needs, which sometimes results in wrongful choices (and/or vulnerability to Satan\'s temptations)." and "Egoism (self importance) leads to desire, craving, and attachments, which can lead to unwholesome thoughts and behavior, i.e. greed, hate, and violence."
• Questions 6 & 7 cause me no inner conflict. I agree that Satan's presence results in much conflict. There is so much suffering in the world because it's generally a part of God's will, plan, or design. Not that this can explain all of the suffering in the world, but some of it. I actually believe that the car accident I got into as a freshman at CMU was part of God's plan, and sometimes I think that the CRPS is/was also.
  
• Question 8 isn't even a question, and it's in all caps: "THE PATH TO SALVATION, OR EXALTATION, ETERNAL REWARD, SPIRITUAL LIBERATION/ENLIGHTENMENT, SPIRITUAL HARMONY, MERGER WITH GOD, ET AL." The options are: The Supreme Power, God, or Gods; God--three persons of one essence; God the Father, His Son, the Holy Spirit -- each a distinct essence.;
  Not Applicable. The path to salvation is God - how God manifests "Himself" isn't important.
• Question 9, yes, baptism or initiation is required.
• Question 10, one should regularly confess or repent, but no cleric is necessary.
  
• Question 11, yes doing good works is necessary. (What would Jesus do?)
• Question 12 is just "Choose all that apply" and lists a number of different beliefs about good works relating to the afterlife. The only one I chose was "All, even the wicked, are rewarded after life (e.g. go to heaven, merge with God, etc.) as God(s) is infinitely good and forgiving." Except that I don't believe that's entirely true; it's just the closest option. God is infinitely good, otherwise "He" wouldn't be God. And I think that you do get more than one chance. I just don't know or have an opinion about the nature of the other chances.
• Question 13, "Elective abortion should be accepted (not proclaimed or treated as immoral)." My choices are Agree, Disagree, or Not Applicable. How about, "yes abortion can be seen as immoral, but it's not my place to judge anyone"? I'm pro-life and pro-choice. I would love it if abortion wasn't, truly, a necessary evil. But it is. And there are so many grey cases, such as a woman in SD who was vehemently anti-choice, until she found out that one of the twins she was carrying had a disorder that would essentially kill the other twin if he were to be carried to term. She flew to another state to have the procedure, then began working for pro-choice groups. I guess I think that abortion probably should be portrayed as immoral, but not always, and it should still be accepted.
  
• Question 14, "Homosexual behavior should be regarded as immoral, or out of harmony." I disagreed with that one, of course.
• Question 15: "Roles for women and men should be prescribed." NO.
• Question 16: "Divorce and/or remarriage should be restricted or punished or condemned." Another grey area. I don't think it should be punished, but I do think it should be seen as something that is truly a last resort. Mandatory "Marriage Encounter" for all? I dunno.
• Question 17: "Social betterment programs (e.g. equality, anti-poverty, education) should be fundamental to the belief." YES! (WWJD?)
• Question 18: "Non-violence (e.g. pacifism, conscientious objector, etc.) should be fundamental to the belief required." Yes.
• Question 19: "Prayer, meditation, or spiritual healing practices should be favored at the exclusion of conventional health treatment (for all serious conditions or certain types of serious conditions)." NO.
• Question 20: "Revering nature/environment should be fundamental to the belief)." Yes, as God is found in nature.

If you've read this far, you are far too interested in my life. But thank you, because I did take the time to write it, and it's nice to have one's writing read.

Without any actual scrapbooking taking place.
Sundays are supposed to be my scrapbooking days.
For the past several weeks, I've gotten nothing done. Max and Jack were sick. Jack has a tendency to want Mommy. Although he had been doing better, the past week or so Max has been very short-tempered with Jack, which makes Mommy feel like she needs to help out.
I was working on work email last night - thank you notes for interviews (more on that in a later post), and was up until 2:30am. Jack woke up at 3:30am. He was scared of the wind. I tried bringing him into our bed. He didn't sleep. Brought him back to his room at 4:15am, then he woke up again around 5:00am. I finally put him down for good at 5:30am. So, in all of that time, I got an hour's sleep. Jack and Max came in to wake me sometime after 10:00am. I went back to sleep, and had dreams within dreams. I woke up for good at 12:20pm.
Max hadn't gotten any sleep, so I foolishly offered to help with Jack. This was foolish because, a) I knew I didn't really want to do it, I just felt like I had to, and b) because my knee has been seriously hurting this past week (again, more on that in a later post). So, after trying to put Jack down, during which he kept kicking my knee (it's just where his feet land, it's not malicious), I was in so much pain, there was no way I could sit and do regular (paper) scrapbooking. So, I decided to try some digital scrapbooking.
My plan for 2008 has been to digitally scrapbook each month at the end/beginning of the month. So, I spent some time perusing digital download sites, and spent about $20 on some new kits.
Jack  never napped.
Meanwhile, I have over 400 pictures from January 2008, none of which were named or cropped. I hate that digital cameras don't take true 4x6 photos. Even if I am going digital for the scrapbooks, I still order pictures for Jack's birthmom and some family members who don't have email. Very frustrating.
Jack went to sleep between bites of his dinner, around 6:30pm. Max put him down.
I went down to eat dinner around 7:50pm. Jack woke up. Max was short-tempered, so I went up and read Jack a book. I thought I would then deliver Jack to Daddy and go back up and maybe start a page.
Yeah right.
Max went to put Jack down at about 9:30pm, at which point I came up here to install all the kits I downloaded today. I had to organize all of the images and whatnot, and that took me until almost 1:00am.
So, I got NOTHING done, page-wise today.
In my paper world, I'm half-way through my friend Penny's visit from October 2005. I have 5 more pages of that to do, then the rest of October. November should be 2 pages. December will be long because of all the Christmas cards, photos, and newsletters. I might finish 2005 before the summer at the rate I'm going.
I haven't decided if 2006 will be digital or paper. Probably mostly digital. Oh, and the weddings from 2005 (Dafna & Michael and Pete & Nina) will also be digital. I should have just done those. I have the pictures and everything ready, it would just be a matter of free-styling the layouts, then looking for coordinating embellishments.
There's a scrapbook retreat at the end of this month. It's $220 for 2-1/2 days and overnights. I thought I'd stay over one night, but that's $200 in itself. I'm trying to figure out what we can afford, and what gives me the most time. If I could go to the retreat, there's a distinct possibility that I could finish 2005, especially if I actually get some scrapbooking time in the next two Sundays.
I was just counting Sundays on the calendar, then I realized - it's still on January.
Oh bother!
I'm going to try to post every night this week, as I have a lot to say:

• Pain Update
• Jack Being Cute Update (note to self: dolphin in the water, Mickey Mouse)
• Job Hunt Update
• Meant to Be Update

I haven't posted about how wonderful my son is for awhile, so I thought I'd try while he's being all rambunctious with Daddy about his bath.
On the way down the stairs,  he started, well, babbling about something. Then I realized, he was reciting the text from the book Black Is Brown Is Tan - and doing a pretty darn good job for a not-quite-2-year old.
While eating yogurt, to get him to eat instead of play, we counted. He can generally count up to 10 or 12, though he sometimes skips 4. Anyway, I count and go to 21, then he says, "22?". And I say, "Yes!" and then, "What's next?" and he says, "23!" and he then did 24 and 25 too.
Finally, when I offered him a peanut butter and jelly cereal bar (by Earth's Best - a wonderful culinary invention) he sang, "Peanut, peanut butter, jelly". Very cute.

89% John Edwards
88% Mike Gravel
87% Dennis Kucinich
87% Barack Obama
83% Chris Dodd
82% Joe Biden
81% Hillary Clinton
78% Bill Richardson
39% Rudy Giuliani
30% John McCain
25% Mitt Romney
23% Mike Huckabee
23% Tom Tancredo
18% Ron Paul
14% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Really, I'm not too surprised. OK, I'm kind of surprised about Ron Paul  being so low, because about a year ago I took a similar, though not nearly as detailed/weighted, quiz, and he was in the top three. However, although I agree with some of his outlooks, I do think he tends to be rather a kook. Fred Thompson. *sigh* If only Martin Sheen would run!
(For me, that joke never gets old. And it's my Journal.)

I broke our digital camera. I dropped it on the floor while it was open (the lens was extended) and now it won't close or open or anything. I suck. We do not have the money to buy a new camera. Almost all of our Christmas money is going towards debt. (With a little for Max for a new desk, as his is falling apart, and then an equal amount to go into saving for a new MacBook for me. My computer is 8 years old.)
So... anyone out there have a digital camera with video capture that they no longer want?
And, can my photography friends tell me if there are any inexpensive cameras that are worth my time? What I want: video/audio capture, 4 megapixels, at least 4x zoom, the ability to tell the camera to take 4x6 pics (instead of 3:2), buttons that make sense, the ability to take action shots relatively well in light and dark. And it has to be sturdy.
It's beginning to look a lot like... my life.

A lot of my friends are doing this New Year's meme: absenteeshe, yokie(she did two), sm00bs. I enjoyed reading them, but they get rather long. I'm picking a couple of questions, just for the sake of Internet compliance.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jack's godmother, Joanne, had Sam. Caroline, whose husband is from the No Parking Players, had Hannah. 3 other moms in the MOMS Club had babies. Annemarie's friend Jen had Ben. Annemarie had Emilia. Jude (spellbinding), had A, but I've barely seen her since. Jack's birthmom's sister had a baby girl. absenteeshe had Parker.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Aunt Lynn.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A job that I like, that enables us to get out of debt, yet still enables me to see my son for more than 2 hours each day.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
We were sick in February, March, May, June, September, October, and right now, December. I think I'm going to put Jack in a bubble. All of us, in bubbles.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
It's probably from last year, but "Unwritten".

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? About the same.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner! I'm 2 pounds from goal!
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More that I could be proud of - being a better mom, working, keeping in touch with friends, scrapbooking

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Seriously - I spend way too much time on Internet forums. I've cut down, but I still spend maybe 30 minutes a day there. The problem is, while I talk a lot, I also learn a lot. I have to figure it out.

Now, my real thoughts on 2007 and 2008:

• I seem to have gained and lost a friend. My friend J, who has a son Jack's age, we were spending lots of time together in the spring. Then J experienced problems with her pregnancy, and we tried to get together. Since J had her baby, I've only seen her at MOMS Club events., where she's been kind of vague about getting together. Her husband P was Max's first and only friend in Antioch. Jack misses his friend K. He says, "Play, K. See K." It's hard on all of us. I hope that it's just the whole, "We have a newborn" thing and not a "We think you're useless as friends" thing.
• I said something inane here in LJ and feel like I lost any respect I had from the original poster to begin with.
• On the other hand, I feel like I'm kind of bonding with my friend Jeff's (jjustj) sister, donnajean2277. I also met several other new people via LJ whom I would call friends (most notably sm00bs) and got back in touch with some of my college friends (most notably jmay0418).
• I started using gDiapers, which propelled me back into being environmentally conscious. I wish I had more time and attention to pay to that.
• Really, I wish that I had more time and attention to pay to a lot of aspects of my life.
• I tried to start a business, and got a good start, organizationally. But we're so in debt that I have to go back to technical writing. I don't dislike tech writing; I dislike how most companies treat their tech writers. I will probably never find a group as good as my one at Oracle, circa 2002.
  
• I have decided that I want to work for Google. Now, I just have to act on that.
• Jack started day care. And I chose the woman because she's black, and the kids there are black and Hispanic. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
• We decided not to vaccinate Jack, and I've been pretty passionate about that subject as well. (In case you hadn't noticed. Hah!)
• I wrote in my paper journal 6 times this year. Last night was 7, and I hope that I remember my resolution to write more often, even if it's only fun stories about Jack.
• I finished Jack's baby book - which is 4 scrapbooks. I started digitally scrapbooking, and I became a consultant for TLC. Then, TLC stopped supporting or releasing new content for the software program that got me to join in the first place. But, I made my first digital books and they look awesome!
• When I got married, I weighed 110 pounds. When I got hurt in 2003, I got up to 120. By January 2006, I was 163 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers in March 2006. It has taken me almost two years, but I am down to 128  pounds. Two more, and I'll be at goal. I can do it before March! And, because it's taken me this long, I know I can keep it off.
• Jack has gone from baby to big boy. It's amazing all that he can do and understand now that he couldn't understand at this time last year. We are so blessed to have such a smart, beautiful, affectionate son. We are blessed that his birthmother is a part of our lives, and believes that we were the right family for her son.
• I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and was actually depressed, as if a friend had just moved away. Although the quality of those books individually varied, the experience of reading them was always wonderful.
• Next year, I want some of the little things to be taken care of: housecleaning and dinners being the biggest "little" things.
  
• Next year, I want Max to be happier, and less angry and stressed. I want him to spend more time with his friends.
• Next year, I want to plan where we're going to be in two years. Because in two years (2010), I want to start the adoption process and give Jack a little sister before he turns five.
• Next year, I want to visit Albuquerque, NM.
• Next year, I want to luck into free tickets to New England, so I can visit all of my friends, whom I miss so dearly.
• Next year, I want to be at a party on New Year's Eve.
  
• Next year, I want my friends to find what they need - be it a spouse, a cure, or a baby. Mostly, I want all my friends to experience peace and bliss at least some of the time.

It's 2008! Happy New Year everyone!

(This is long, but the links are to pictures if you want to skip to those.)
Christmas Eve.
Max and I made plans to watch Waitress while he puts together the ball pit and slide that Great-Grandma got Jack for Christmas. Max ends