The last time I became really obsessed with something, I understood it. It was 2003 and I had just gotten hurt. I was in excruciating pain most of the time. The only thing I could do that didn't automatically cause pain? Watch TV. TNT had re-runs of Law & Order, and before Law & Order, there were back-to-back episodes of Charmed. I became obsessed with Charmed. When we got our TiVo that July, I recorded all 4 episodes every day, plus the re-runs on UPN. Although I had never been big into the supernatural, it was immediately clear to me why I was all about the Halliwell sisters.
Here were three strong women, who, while beautiful, were also within normal looking parameters. OK, maybe not Alyssa Milano, but whatever. They all had powers that could stop the bad guys. But most importantly, they lived with a gorgeous man who could heal their pain. To someone with a neuropathic pain syndrome, that was the ultimate must-have.
I don't know how many dreams I had that I was one of the sisters. Despite the fact that Piper (Holly Marie Combs) is my favorite, I was often Phoebe (Alyssa Milano). I remember one dream that took place in the offices at Oracle in NH.
So, Charmed, I get.
But Twilight? My exposure to vampires has been the Buffy and Angel episodes Max watches. I think they're OK, overall, but not great.
Some of the attraction may be the romance, but then, wouldn't any kind of romance do? I have no real desire to read romance as a genre. The immortality theme coming so soon after my mom died? Iffy. Maybe the close knit vampire family?
I can't say that I identify with Bella or any of the other characters. I find them all interesting, though I could do without the hundreds of pages about Jacob. I find myself wanting to watch the movie just so I can see what the Cullens look like. The way Meyer describes them completely doesn't match what I think of in my head.
Usually, I understand why I'm attracted to something. This time, I really don't get it. I'm not sure it matters. It's just something that's been going through my head, and I wanted to write it down.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
tired
I just read the entire Twilight series.
( Spoilers so serious that I used a cut on the Mac... )
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
accomplished
A lot of the time, it feels like she's on vacation. Like it's not permanent. Like I could go back and make it not happen.
I just know I miss her, even though she often annoyed the crap out of me. It was nice to know she was around.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
contemplative
As you might guess from the subject line, I read the book. And, I liked it.
Now, it was horribly written. I took Playwriting I & II in college, and Twilight reminded me of how I used to write my scenes. Talk talk talk talk talk... OK, where am I? Right. I don't need
It's not that I could have done a better job writing this book. It's like a book I would write in my journal or something. Only far more creative, I must admit. Stephanie Meyer needs ... something.
In any case, I started the book Sunday night, read it until 2 in the morning Monday, and then again Monday 'til 2 am Tuesday (even after taking my pain meds, so my head was all loopy, which probably made it take longer). Tonight, I decided, to hell with it. I'm finishing Twilight.
I should have been working on HGTV software for work, or putting labels and postage on the thank you notes from the people who expressed sympathy at my mom's passing. I should have been writing for AdoptionBlogs.com. I have an email interview to frame and post. Instead, I was reading a badly written, yet intensely interesting book about a vampire and the girl who loves him.
I'm not sure if I want to see the movie, on the off chance that it's better fleshed out than the book, or if I want to stay away. From the pictures I've seen, the guy who plays Edward doesn't look anything like I picture him.
Oh, and a random thought: How is "till" the right way to spell the abbreviation of "until"? I don't like it. Not one little bit. *hmph*
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: tired
- Music:"There Is Life Outside Your Apartment", Avenue Q
I've been in a showtunes mood the last few days.
I started today with The Mystery of Edwin Drood. Due to the vagaries of iTunes, it was followed by Anytime, from Infinite Joy (because it's sung by Norm Lewis, and "N" comes after "M").
Anytime you laugh
Anytime you cry
Anytime you hear a sound
When you're on the grass
Lying on the ground
Anytime you wash your hands
I'll be around
And I just started to think, and think about my mom, because isn't a mom always there? Or always supposed to be there?
I'm out there on the baseball field
Though I'm well concealed
I'll be out there cheering
I'm out there in the books you read
It is guaranteed I'm not disappearing fast
Anytime, no not anytime
And then I cried because she did disappear.
And I am there each morning
I am there each fall
I am present without warning
And I'm watching it all
Yes I'm watching it all
I really hope that she is. I hope she gets to see Jack at Disneyland for the first time. She loved Disney. Maybe because we did, or maybe we love it because she did. I don't know. I just know that there are so many firsts, so many events, moments, she's not going to get to be present for. I knew she wouldn't make it to his high school graduation. But I wanted so much for her to be here to hold her granddaughter. I loved sharing Jack with her. She's the only person who was excited by him all the time. Jack has a blog, but I haven't updated it in months. I'm not even sure I should anymore, because I think she was really the only person who read it.
I am there in music
I am there in sky
I don't know why this thing did happen
But this much is clear
Anytime or anywhere
I am there
Do you think that dead people, in an afterlife, regret being dead? I know I wish she had just quit smoking. Quit blaming her childhood for her problems, so she couldn't get past them. I wish she would have just thought for a minute about how her being sick affected everyone else. My sister said at the service that my mom always put other people before herself. And that was mostly true. But when it came to her self-destructive tendencies, she never saw how they hurt us. Or maybe she did, and that was the only way she could get any power in the relationship, or so she thought. I could really see her punishing herself to punish us.
Anytime you pray
Anytime you fight
Anytime you gained a pound
Anytime it's day
Anytime it's night
Anytime the earth moves
I'll be around
So cliche, but I wish I had told her some things. Like I didn't blame her for being a not-so-good mom. I knew she tried her best. I told her that. We had a toast at our wedding, and I toasted mom for always loving me and trying her best. So I told about 100 people, if they remember. I bet she remembered. I really tried, ever since Jack was born, to be more cognizant of her feelings and to try and share with her.
I'm out there in the maple trees
In a summer breeze
On a perfect evening
I'm out there when you celebrate
When the world seems great
I'll be waiting by your side
Anytime, yes anytime
I hope the world seems great again soon. We went to the County Fair on Saturday. The last two years, I've come home and posted on Jack's blog. I couldn't do that this year. The fair was so odd - us at the fair was so odd. Max did Our Town the year we got married. I wonder if this is how Emily felt when she was dead. That everything suddenly took on more meaning because we know it's finite. It's all well and good to say to live each day like it's your last, but you can't. I don't want to spend my last day writing the glossary for HGTV Home & Landscape Platinum. I'm pretty sure my mom didn't want to spend her last day fighting with my aunt and fighting to breathe. She died in her bathroom. Come to think of it, so did my grandmother - her bio mom. Grandma Missestoney died May 26, 1979. My mom died almost exactly 30 years later. 30 days minus 5. I wonder if they're up there bickering. Or do all alcoholics go to hell? (My grandmother was an alcoholic. I always prayed for her to be in heaven. She's buried at Queen of Heaven cemetery.)
And I am there each morning
I am there each fall
I am present without warning
And I'm watching it all
Yes I'm watching it all
I want her to be here. I want to hug her again. I want to be able to call her. At the very least, I want to have said a proper good bye. I didn't even give her a card this Mother's Day. I was using our (Avanquest's) greeting card software, and it kept crashing. Her Christmas present is still sitting on my desk. At least she saw that. It's a scrapbook. The company I bound it with did an awful job, and it took me forever to get around to printing and binding it myself. I thought, maybe I should give it to Jack's birthmom. But I kind of don't want to. I don't know why. She called a couple of days before my mom died. I haven't called her back. I can't deal with her drama right now.
I am there in flowers
I am there in snow
I don't know why this thing happened
But this much is clear
Anytime you cry
Anytime you sing
For anything
And I lose it again every time I hear those two lines: Anytime you sing / for anything. At least I did a good job on "The Way We Were". People complimented me. It was very different than my grandfather's funeral, where I sucked, and no one knew it was me singing. This time, I sang the entire song with my eyes closed. It's a bad habit I got out of years ago, sometime in high school maybe. But I closed my eyes and kind of imagined being in the song, and I sung it. I miss singing. I'm glad I did a good job for mom. I hope Grandpa was listening too.
I am there each morning
I am there each fall
I don't know why this thing happened
But this much is clear
Be aware
I am there
You know, I can imagine her being all Angels in the Outfield for Jack. Or for Cassie. I bet she'll be a tomboy, because Jack wants to be a princess.
I just wish so much for another few minutes. Just some warning. A real warning, not this sense of dread I had for the last 4 years. It can't have happened so fast. It can't be over that fast. A person - my mother - was here on Wednesday, and she wasn't on Thursday. She just stopped. Stopped being here.
I go to pick up her ashes tomorrow - or today - it's past midnight.
I finished the cake Jack's teacher made for me. And I've listened to this song eight times. I'm glad it made me cry, because I needed to cry, but felt so ridiculous doing so. But that's another story...
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
sad - Music:"Anytime", Infinite Joy
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jayspec , but certainly on the top ten "I'm sorry" sayers list. My father, on the other hand, never apologizes. For anything.
He sent me a box of books without asking. The box fell apart and all the books were lost. The books were the entire Trixie Belden series, which is now out of print. Some of the individual books sell for over $15 on eBay. He never apologized for losing them.
He took Max and me to the airport when we went to adopt Jack. He used my car. When we got home 3 weeks later, we had no food in the house, so I went to get some Chinese food. But m car wouldn't start. My dad had left the trunk slightly open for 3 weeks. The trunk has a light. The light drained the battery. He never apologized.
Last week, he accused me of taking my mom's spare set of car keys. He said I put them in my purse. I said, "Dad, I don't have room for my own keys in my purse, let alone Mom's keys." He insisted that Max or I must have taken them.
He called on Tuesday and said he found the keys. I said, "See? I told you I didn't take them!" He said, "I'm sorry. I was upset."
WHAT?!?!?
"I'm sorry."
I was speechless. I said, "Wow."
I called my sister and told her. She said, "Wow. That's weird."
In unrelated news, Jack saw my mom's jewelry box and wanted to know what was in it. I told him that it was some of Nana's jewelry.
He said, "Nana went to heaven."
I said, "Yes."
He said, like a jaded teenager, "So you took her stuff?"
I love my kid. Even if he hasn't been using his listening ears.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: sick
- Music:"Anytime", Infinite Joy
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: tired
- Music:The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Mine is:
1 Corinthians 9:26 NIV
Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.
Corinthians is probably my least favorite - no, Paul is my least favorite in the Bible, period. A couple of his letters are OK, but I've never liked any of the Corinthians.
I'm not a man. I do tend to "run" aimlessly and I'm really not sure what to say about the fighting part.
Weird.
I'm not a man. I do tend to "run" aimlessly and I'm really not sure what to say about the fighting part.
Weird.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: discontent
I have lots of ideas for my Adoption Blogs gigs, but nothing comes out when I type. (For the record, I did do a bit of research on child abuse rates in black households, but decided not to go with that idea.)
I have a box of photos to sort and send to Jack's birthmom and to other family members. I have the Christmas thank you cards sitting here. Yes, Christmas. I suck. (His birthday thank you cards did go out, to most people. But I can't remember who I didn't thank, because I can't find the list.) I have to call a friend to find out what her daughter wants for her birthday this weekend.
I've been downloading digital scrapbooking kits while reading email and trying to write. I'm an addict. It's truly insane.
I just need to get off my ass and DO SOMETHING. So, maybe writing about this will get it out of my system. I'll go to sleep - oh, and I haven't been sleeping well. I've had odd dreams. Last night I dreamed that Jack's birthmom was pregnant again. (She called today, but I was putting Jack down for bed, and Max forgot to tell me before it was too late.) Anyway, I'll go to sleep and try again tomorrow.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
blah
Hello,
This is a request to include our website link on your website page at http://www.rmcsquared.net/The_Chittister
Our details are as follows
Title/Link Text:
Adoption Agency
URL:
http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/
Description:
Adoption Network was founded by adoptive parents and provides adoption services to birthmothers and adoptive couples throughout the United States.
Keywords:
Adoption Network, adoption network law center, adoption birthmother housing
Adoption Agency
URL:
http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/
Description:
Adoption Network was founded by adoptive parents and provides adoption services to birthmothers and adoptive couples throughout the United States.
Keywords:
Adoption Network, adoption network law center, adoption birthmother housing
Please let me know if you require any further information.
Thanks
****
I Googled the name of the guy who sent the email, and he works for an Internet "search engine optimization" company. Obviously, he can't be bothered to click a link, or else he would have known not to bother me.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: busy
- Music:Les Miserables, The Original French Concept Album
So, this is the last time I'm going to mention that I know Zachary Quinto (aka Young Spock). He was one of my Computing Skills Workshop students. He was also a classmate for a semester in some of the CFA classes I took. And I swear, I am not making this story up:
One day in CSW class, a couple of people were talking about how much Zach looked like Spock, and we all agreed that he should play young Spock.
12 years later...
So yeah. This is the first time that I've seen someone I actually know and interacted with - on however limited a basis - has been in a real movie. And I found myself watching in sort of the same way that I do plays when my friends are in them. I was comparing the character to the real person, and just overall enjoying that the person was good.
And Zach was good. I really think most of the cast was good, though I didn't care for Pike. Oh, and why did they add the reptile equivalent of an Ewok?
I'm also not sure how I feel about what is essentially a reboot of the Star Trek franchise. I'm not a big fan of time travel in general. I think the only stories that have done it well are Quantum Leap (at least, in the first 4 seasons) and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Apparently, there will be more movies. If they're done well, then OK. See, I liked the first season of Enterprise. Then, they tried to create a new reality and failed, big time. The movies need follow their own trajectory, and don't preoccupy themselves with being Star Trek.
I think my favorite part may have been Kirk's reaction to Spock and Uhura making out. I think I might make that my new desktop for awhile, because that was just hilarious!
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
amused
I just thought it was cute and I wanted to share:
Jen and Jason are totally keen
on raising their little one totally green.
Hand-me-downs welcome, gifts need not be new.
They know when the baby comes, they’ll need help too.
Time and attention, if you’ve some to spare,
are gifts from the heart we’d love you to share.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
awake
However... they left out some incredibly important points, as well as a few details I would have liked to have seen.
I don't feel like cutting (it doesn't work properly in Safari), so if you haven't seen or read it, you can stop now.
- Biggest problem? NO PERCY! Percy is gone! Entirely. Terrible!
- Second biggest problem? The end. Dumbledore never shares how he knows the prophecy, nor does he share Snape's role in it, or Neville's.
- Third biggest problem? No locket. Anyone who's read 7 will know what I mean.
Because they never introduced Winky, they couldn't have Dobby and Winky show them the Room of Requirement. So they had Neville find it. Eh.
Kreacher's role is reduced, so we don't really know how Voldemort learns about the link between himself and Harry. Or about the Order.
On the other hand, the link between Voldemort and Harry was really well done.
Sirius never gives Harry the mirror. (In the book, it annoys me that Sirius gives Harry the mirror so they can talk, then Harry never uses it. I understand why Harry has to have the mirror - it figures in 7 - but it's still just a big ol' plot hole.)
Rupert Grint was apparently told to slouch all the time to look like a teenager. All of the male students look older than 14. Emma Watson barely pulls it off.
I really liked the girl who played Luna. She's sweet. I hope they continue with her role in the next two movies.
No one can say "No idea" and impart so much information with it as Alan Rickman.
The kestrels (thestrals?) were really well done. Grawp was not. The centaurs were iffy. Oh, and they didn't have Firenze as the new class that Trelawny teaches instructor ... what's that word?
I also would have liked to have seen the kids take their OWLs, just a bit. That's more because I like the scenes in the book than because they're really necessary.
Oh, and Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix LeStrange? I don't know...
Sirius Black, survived Azkaban, killed by drapery. *sigh*
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: tired
My online friend,
absenteeshe, aka FireMom from Stop, Drop, and Blog, entered her husband, Josh, in Redbook's Hottest Husband contest. He made the top 25. She wants him to be #1! And so do I, just because it's cool. If you've already voted via Facebook, thank you.
If you haven't, read this and vote!
"(You have voted for Joshua H, haven’t you? What? You didn’t see our initial announcement? Read this post. Then head to this link and vote for Joshua H. We’re serious. If we win, we’re vlogging the trip!)?"
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:Jack bathing
I was not sick. But I did get sick in the middle of the night last night, so today, I have been a useless lump. I don't have the illness as bad as Max and Jack did. I feel incredibly babyish for staying in bed almost all day for this.
Anyway... enough complaining... on to the musical!
( Cut for spoilers )
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: lethargic
Jack started complaining about his stomach last night. We hoped it was the odd dinner (bananas & peanut butter with a side of goat cheese).
So, Max had a 24 hour bug that Jack now has.
Please hope/pray that I either a) don't get it at all or b) get it today or tomorrow.
We have tickets to Wicked on Friday night.
Waaahhhhhhh!
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
anxious - Music:Johnny and the Sprites
I'm really happy with my first post, so if you have a moment, please do try to stop by:
http://domestic-infant.adoptionblogs.com/w
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: complacent
After three tries, I'm now officially a blogger at AdoptionBlogs.com. I'm very excited about this!
My first post is to the Transracial Adoption blog:
http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/web
But I'll also be doing Hoping to Adopt and US Infant Adoption.
I have to go to a full day of meetings now, but I hope you'll take a look at the blog, just because.
- Location:Hilton Garden Inn, Calabassas, CA
- Mood: tired
- Music:the ice machine
♥ What are your middle names?
Maxwell and Marie Nace
♥ How long have you been together?
October 16, 1995
♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Well... that's a long story that Max doesn't like. He knew me in August 1994. I knew him sometime between December 94 and February 95.
♥ Who asked who out?
Neither one of us, actually.
♥Who said I love you first?
I think I did.
♥ How old are each of you?
I'm 33 and Max is 32.
♥ Whose siblings do/did you see the most?
N/A Max is an only, and my sister lives in Florida.
♥ Do you have any children together?
Yes.
♥ What about pets?
We have two cats.
♥ Did you go to the same schools?
Nope.
♥ Are you from the same hometown?
No, but it has the same name. I'm from Pleasant Hill, CA and he's from Pleasant Hills, PA.
♥ Who is the smartest?
Max. Hands down. He's the only guy I've ever dated that's smarter than me. And really, that's not ego. I dated some dumb guys.
♥ Who is the most sensitive?
Eh... him, I think. But it's close
♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We don't do a lot of eating out at all.
♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Either NH to CA or NH to the Bahamas.
♥ Who has the worst temper?
Max.
♥ Who does the cooking?
Max, but I want to help.
♥Who is the most social?
Me.
♥ Who is the neat-freak?
This is what moominmama wrote, and it actually applies to us as well:
Neither of us but we both have our preferences like I like the kitchen counters to be clear and he doesn’t care while he goes nuts that I leave once worn but not yet dirty clothes pajamas on the top of the dresser bed.
♥ Who is the most stubborn?
We're both pretty stubborn, but I guess me.
♥ Who wakes up earlier?
Max. And I love him for it!
♥ Where was your first date?
Our first real date was Max & Irma's in Shadyside.
♥Who has the bigger family?
Me.
♥Do you get flowers often?
No.
♥ Who do you spend the holidays with?
Usually my parents, because they live close by. But in NH, we spent them with his parents.
♥Who does/did the laundry?
I do. I don't like the way he does it, which annoys him. He folds though.
♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Max can do hardware, and I can't.
♥ Who drives when you are together?
Usually Max.
♥ Who picks where you go to dinner?
My mom.
♥ Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
Actually, we're both pretty good at this.
♥ Who named your pet?
Their original humans.
♥ Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Depends on the topic.
♥ Who has more tattoos?
Neither of us. I want one, but I have a fear of needles beyond belief.
♥ Who eats more sweets?
He does.
♥ Who cries more?
Me.
♥ Are you still together?
At the moment, he's putting Jack down, but after that, yes.
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood: blah
Wow did that suck.
( For those who don't know what happens, I cut )
- Location:home, Antioch, CA
- Mood:
aggravated
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